An Application (Sort of)

[Martok]

Earlier today I read over Amidala's application to become a GM. Doing so gave me an idea. The result is this kinda sorta not really an application application. Please enjoy:

...........

Hi. All of you. You...where ever you are. You know who you are. You game guys. Yeah, you game guys, always watching us, hiding behind stuff, following us around...yeah. You. This is my formal application to be one of you guys.

My name is...wait a minute, got to look at my underware. My mom always sowed my name on my underware, been wearing this pair since 1983. Says my name is Calvin Kline. Whatever I am something something years old, old enough to know whats what and I have seen some stuff man, I'm tellin' ya. Yeah, the Warhammer World, I was in Kislev when it all went down man. I was there, man! Frackin' rats everywhere, runnin', screamin'. Big rats, little rats, heavy stuff. Anyway I know the Warhammer World but don't care nothing 'bout no stinkin' elves. Frackin' Elves, think they are better than everyone else.

I've been playing Warhammer RoR since...wait a minute I have got to look at my underware again. Oh, yeah, since last year sometime. Played on Live too. At least, I think I was live back then. Not really sure. Anyway I can find my way around the various maps, 'cept for Thunder Mountain. Every direction looks the same there, and they all go to the same place. But if you want me to keep an eye on somebody just send them to Eataine and tell 'em to stand still and I'm your guy.

Activity Requirements:

There are requirements for this? Whatever, I can be active up to 6/6 days a week, whatever that means. Even in EU time 'cause ain't no time like EU time and EU time is hot. Speakin' of hot, you guys should hire that Amidala chick. I saw a picture of her once, and she is hot. I mean like really. She is so hot candles refuse to burn around her. She is so hot the sun is jealous. So you know, like sign her up. But yeah I can be on at least six hours a day. Unless I am drunk. Or in jail.

Thick Skin:

Thick Skin? When it comes to games, I ain't got no skin at all. But I would be fair. I mean the only time I would use my super-GM-powers for evil is whenever I saw Krima, or any Witch Elf, or any Sorc, or anyone with red lettering over their toons, and then it would be BANG! ZOOM! To the Moon!!! Oh, and Avocetti also. BANG! ZOOM! To the Moon!!! Seriously, think how happy all the Order players would be when the only Destro in a zone were level 34 newbies because every one else had been banged zoomed to the moon. It would be awesome.

And as for helping newbies and answering questions, I got that down pat. Shut the hell up. Yeah...

Forum Participation:

I'm participatin', ain't I?

Geez...

Game Systems:

I played Doom. I understand that system. I read the patch notes but I can't get no satisfaction. But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try. I ran in a six man group once. No, wait, that was the Blue Man Group. Still haven't gotten all that stuff off. I understand the War system, its all like go over there and hit that guy, then go over here and hit that other guy, then follow other guys around until they find some other guys to hit and stuff. And a Keep. See? Who knows more about this stuff than me? Say what again, I dare ya, I double dog dare ya!

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the wicked, and the tyrannies of evil men...

Tolerance:

I am tolerant of girls with a lot of patients. In fact, my patients are calling, all of 'em pushing their little buzzers, I can hear them, in my head, ringing their bells...and my ear it fully knows, by the twanging and the clanging, how the danger ebbs and flows; yet the ear distinctly tells, in the jangling and the wrangling, how the danger sinks and swells, by the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells, of the bells, of the bells bells bells bells Bells Bells BELLS BELLS BELLS!!!

I've seen people break the rules, oh yes, I have seen it my precious. They breaks the rules, those nasty little hobbitsez, and smelly orcs, and sorcs, and white lions, oh my. And we hates them, my precious, we hates them because they stole it from us...and if I were a GM in place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful, and terrible as the dawn, treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!

Thats pretty tolerant, right?

Team Communication:

Right Split One, Twenty-two Dive on Three. Ready...Break!

Oh yeah I have Discord because someone wanted me in coms once so I downloaded Discord and then the next time I got into a group I said I have Discord and they said Discord?! We don't use no stinkin' Discord! You need GameVox! So I downloaded GameVox and the next time I got into a group I said I have GameVox and they said GameVox?! We don' use no stinkin' GameVox! You need Vent! So I downloaded Vent and the next time I was in a group I said I have Vent and they said Vent?! We don' use no stinkin' Vent! We use Discord! So if you want to communicate with me I will be in Nimbuzz 'cause I heard nobody uses that.

So, you know, like, I really like the game, and like you know I want to do good and I want the team to do good, and I think you know like we could all do good if you signed me up so sign me up.

That is my application. Word.

..........................

Special Note: Just in case anyone is not sure, the above is satire and not to be taken seriously.

[wargrimnir]

I'm uh... guess I'll move this to OT then. Satire.

[Kali14]

Amidala is the best candidate for GM. At least it is polite and not biased, which can not be said of some other candidates. Too bad we can not vote. Although voting may not be the best idea.

[Aurandilaz]

bretty gud, would get banned by this mod

5/7

[qwerty113]

Mortok have a talent

[areanda]

Serieusly I dont play this game anymore but I do like to read on ban appeals and just bullshit from the forum Warriors but ur post made me laugh and my Day 10/10 wish ya best of luck .. haha

[shaggyboomboom]

Quality shitpost right here, people should take inspiration from this masterpiece right here.

[Nycta]

GM team getting too serious and uptight - if you take Peter(too serious about 6vs6!), you got to get Martok as well!

p.s: Bang! ZoOM!! TO THE MOOOOON!!!..

[ToXoS]

I died at the gollum part

[Collateral]

Man people have too much time on their hands to come up with this stuff.





Also, don't touch my princess Amidala!