Every volunteer, past and present, no matter your responsibility on this project:To all of you, a
THANK YOU
that cannot be made large enough to convey my (and Dontdie's) appreciation, as well as on behalf of my guild, Legacy of Legends (LoL) and my guild leader, Joker.
As one who could not physically nor mentally bear participating in W.A.R.'s dEAth sentence on December 18, 2013, knowing the family ties created within and woven through our home away from home sweet home, barring facebook chats now and then (which were still equally difficult to bear after our loss), were going to forever, for the worse be permanently relegated to talk of 'the good ol' days', and worse still, lost forever; bore down on Cueleen (her name on Live) and my (Cultzure Szaahk) psyches with such force that a full two weeks before that dEAth, we (two mature adults who also had irl lives/responsibilities) were reduced to almost physically disabling crying fits that would last for hours each night a full TWO WEEKS before 'lights out'. It is incredibly embarrassing to go through something like that at my age; even worse to attempt explanation to irl family/friends who were never 'gamers' and would share a chuckle and a sneer and some misplaced comment on how we'll now have more time for "... really important things in life..."
[i've conveyed this many times, and usually run long winded, but damnit, this, in my opinion must be reiterated often, to all players, and devs alike]
My descriptive comparison to that event was/is: It's akin to getting word from long time friends and family that a major change has occurred in everyone's life; they were all planning to uproot and move in vastly different directions from one another, knowing, planning cut ties with every other member of the family, on the same day, at the same time. They were all going to board the same 'plane' at the same time on the same day to begin these journeys, these 'new lives,' and nothing could be done about it. We also, all of us had the foreknowledge that the plane, packed with it's disseminating human cargo, just before anyone of us could debark to start these new lives, was going to violently meet its demise in the dEAd sea, assuredly leaving no survivors. We all knew the day we, and our beloved world, was going to be swiftly, emotionally wiped from the face of the earth, all memory of those wonderful relationships perishing as well. Some of us even looked forward to the massive homicide.
Cue and I had to stop watching anything to do with W.A.R. on youtube, and could even no longer bear watching the videos we'd created and shared over the years; not even the hours of recorded in game footage we'd used to create those show off/happy family videos. Our mature, adult water works couldn't be staunched for close to 6 months continuous. We grew increasingly distressed and even more depressed, not even able to turn on the x-box 360... why bother? Painful memories of loss would only come cascading down within minutes because, "... this just isn't W.A.R. and I can't stop thinking about how much I miss [every goddamn one of them], so why bother?" My attitude was so slammed for so long I actually allowed myself to go so out of control rage-cry over it at my place of employment that I was fired. What do ya want? I missed the hell out of my family, almost all of whom I would never spend time with again. dEAth sux.
I blubber every time I convey this story. The pain of that loss is still palpable, at least to me. I get a bit more 'invested' in my chosen MMO than many, to my detriment. And that detriment is, to this day, worth every sissified tear I've shed.
In July of 2014, I would not listen to Cue as she excitedly (like peeing your pants excited) read to me about the RoR project and its farcical (my opinion at that time) attempt resurrect something so precious, but in a half-arsed (again, imo then) "Re-Animator" way that would have me playing some spoiled rich kid's whipping post inside a corpse-with-a-beating-fluid-pump's poorly fit together and still rotting carcass. I'd rather weep like a girl, tyvm.
Fortunately, for me, a RoR alpha tester had the forethought to upload some play time they'd currently enjoyed. While watching the tears welled, but with this idiot, breathless, speechless grin that could not be wiped off, while making a tall "X" with my extremities, breaking into a fevered excited rant mumbling something akin to "Omigod honey.... Weeeeeeeee'rrrre baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" laced with expletives and girl-like screeching. My feet didn't touch the floor the whole night, which was spent standing at my keyboard, monitor open to facebook, dancing the "pee dance" back and forth as I wore my fingertips bloody and erased the printed letters on said keys as I, of course long-windedly, shot personal messages to every single W.A.R. contact telling them, if they didn't yet know:
It wasn't real, it was all just a test; our families weren't on a real plane that really crashed; it was a flight simulator and a social engineering experiment THAT WAS NOW OVER allowing us to the privilige and blessing of getting those dead to us miraculously, happily back! I still often think,"How many people on this earth, after such a huge tragedy and great personal loss, EVER are gifted the opportunity to negate dEAth and the separation inherent, without incurring any cost whatsoever, the grand moment to bring their loved ones back from dEAth, for real, simply because there are some people that are (and I'm not religious, so bare with this remark please) the Jesus to our Lazarus. And Lazarus has been not just resurrected, but recreated, with loving care, from his chromosomes to his dome.
Compared to that text wall and what it tells, two, or three, or five weeks patience means NOTHING when juxtaposed to the tragedy I typed previously. And I wasn't able, due to irl, to play AT ALL over the last four months, last week determined to create time for my long lost, newly recovered family, only then learning about the recent DDOS (Dainty Dicks On Shitheads). You beautiful devs, you take your time, feed ol' Lazarus some vitamins and hormones; let 'him' get some needed rest. And when you've finished donating your precious irl lives and resources to ensure the family stays together, knowing there's nothing but simple 'thank you's' to compensate... you devs take some recharge/irl/family time of your own. We owe it to you, with interest, and you all deserve it. After all, if it weren't for your continued, uncompensated sacrifices, my irl and relationship with Cue (Dontdie) wouldn't have **** to look forward to; dEAth took a major toll on our personal relationship and your efforts, though unintended in this, renewed our spark, and our commitment to each other. I can never hope to repay even one of you, but I will adamantly appreciate the hell out of all of you for the rest of my days. While saving "my" game, you inadvertently saved my love relationship and quite probably my real life.
You're all MMO angels to me. Cheers, and when the time arrives: Good Hunting to you all!
